It seems that everywhere I look in the Bible I am reminded to trust God. I'm warned that, "Without faith it is impossible to please Him. Guess my question is; Is it possible for me to fully trust God when I don't even fully trust humans? I would assume that trust would have to come first before faith ever could.
Trust is; the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. Whereas, faith is; complete trust. It is my opinion that trust has to come first.
In an ideal world where children are loved, valued and unconditionally accepted by their parents, they learn that the world is good and that people are safe. However, in a dysfunctional world (like the world I grew up in) where children were treated as inferior, where they were to be seen and not heard and constantly degraded, and what little bit of love that they got was always based on conditions, the children see the world and other people as unsafe, untrustworthy and uncaring. Ironically, this was not God's intended purpose. Because from all the research I've ever read, babies are born into this world with the innate ability to automatically trust. When a baby is first born they cry in order to get their basic needs met. When the cries and needs are responded to the infant learns very quickly that crying does the trick. However, in some case's where abuse and neglect has played a major factor the studies have shown that some infants whose needs go unattended over an extended period of time will eventually stop crying altogether. My point is: we all have learned how to survive from what our environments have taught us.
Then if the person has suffered from any type of social, peer or authoritative abuse (minsters, or school teachers) this only serves to enhance the mistrust. Then to put the icing on the cake, for those same children to be brought up in a strict, religious organization where they are repeatedly taught that God's love and acceptance are only available if they do everything exactly right; the odds of them growing up to become adults who just trust everyone is slim to none.
I'm beginning to believe that it is unrealistic to expect someone who has been a victim of; physical, emotional, verbal, mental and spiritual abuse to automatically trust; even God. Here's the funny thing, I want to. I desperately want to "totally" trust Jesus. But I know Him well enough to know that pretending to do something that I do not really mean or believe is far worse than not doing it at all.
Please understand that I am not confronting these issues to be negative or to gain sympathy. But these feelings do exist and ignoring them is only serving to keep me sicker. And God is a God of "Truth". If I cannot take my fears and frustrations to Him, then who can I take them to?
Honestly, what I'm truly tired of hearing is, "Just have faith, sister, God loves you". Are those words for my benefit or a quick response for others so that they can give an obligatory pat on the back and walk away unaffected?
Just allow me to say that I do believe that a person can not blame the past forever. We all must move forward at one point. However, my question still remains; how am I suppose to "fully" trust Jesus when I've yet to learn how to trust others. Unfortunately, trust and faith are not readily available. I mean I can't educate myself and obtain them, nor can I buy them. These are hard questions, but I can almost guarantee you that I'm not the only one who's asking them. Truth is; in the Christian community if a person makes statements like this, he or she is automatically labeled as a doubter or spiritually weak. And I think that this is sad. Paul said that as Christians, "We are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice". Romans 12:15.
So,,,,,what's the solution? It would appear that only God holds the answer.
`
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Will I Ever Feel Socially Accepted?
Before I felt convicted to give them up, one of my favorite things to do was watch horror movies. Halloween H20 was my pick and I must have watched it a couple hundred times. Lori, who just so happened to be the half sister of Michael Myers constantly looked over her shoulder because she lived in fear. Deep down inside she was afraid that her psycho stepbrother would somehow find her, and come back to murder her. As a result her life was in total shambles. She secretly drank too much, was overly protective of her teenage son and distanced herself from her boyfriend who was a counselor.
Finally, at one point when the pain became nearly unbearable she asks her boyfriend this question; "Do you think that it's possible to have something so bad happen to you that you never recover?" He replied, "I like to think that recovery is always possible." Although, this is a fictional line from a horror flick I can relate. I've asked myself the same question hundreds of times.
When I was nineteen years old I lost all of my family and all of my friends in one single day. I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and my entire social world centered around this organization. Because I broke one of their rules I got tossed from the congregation while all of my social network was still inside. I was left with no contact whatsoever. I was alone, with no one. This type of traumatic experience can leave a scar. I know that it has for me.
I guess my question would be; "Do you think that it's possible to be so afraid of people leaving you that you never feel comfortable around them?' This is exactly the position that I find myself in. I mean I feel like I'm always in a catch 22, or double-bind. On the one hand: I love people, am very social and conversational. However, on the other hand: I am terrified of people, they make me nervous.
Honestly, I never knew how strong these feelings were until recently. See, in the past I've ran from one mega church to the next. I've happily slipped into large auditoriums and slipped out undetected. This was safe and I enjoyed the noncommittal feelings. The Pastor's were doing their own things and were much to busy to notice me, which suited me just fine. I could smile on the surface and cordially carry on small talk and kaboom that was it. Of course I didn't have to speak with anyone if I didn't want too. Ah,,, those were the good ole days.....
Around 2 months ago my family and I started attending a different church. This church is very small and very intimate. Everyone knows precisely when I come in and everyone knows when I leave. The Pastor is never doing his own thing and he never allows himself to become too busy to talk with his congregation. In fact, if a person doesn't find find him, he will find them.
This church is a supportive, nurturing, environment. Sounds like I would be perfectly at ease, doesn't it? But I'm mot. I'm terrified. Each week I have to fight down waves of panic before I even enter the building. It never fails that every time I approach these warm loving people, I have this intense feeling that they can't stand me, and they can't wait for me to leave so that they can talk about me. And if I see the caring Pastor approaching, I start to feel nauseous and my heart starts beating so fast that I'm afraid that it might come out of my chest. So, I immediately start asking him questions before he can ask me anything. Why do I have these reactions? At the moment I'm not sure, but I think that I can take an educated guess.
I'm afraid of not being socially accepted. Maybe, I'm still scarred from all of my friends and family abandoning me. Maybe, deep down inside, I'm afraid that if I make a mistake people will leave me. I'm not entirely sure if figuring out what triggers these feelings is important; all I know is that it's one of the most unpleasant feeling that I've ever experienced. So far, I've been successful at being social despite these feelings, but.... I literally don't know how to complete this sentence.
I believe that the secrets that we hold in the dark only serve to keep us sicker. If the devil can make us ashamed of them and afraid of telling other's what they are, then he has us right where he wants us. He does not want us to be free; instead, he wants us immobile and frozen in fear. So... I've made the decision to share my experiences so that I can stop carrying the burdens along and so that others who carry the same burden will realize that they are not by themselves.
"God has not given me a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7. I'm still working on this promise, right now it's easier for me to read it, than to actually experience it.
Finally, at one point when the pain became nearly unbearable she asks her boyfriend this question; "Do you think that it's possible to have something so bad happen to you that you never recover?" He replied, "I like to think that recovery is always possible." Although, this is a fictional line from a horror flick I can relate. I've asked myself the same question hundreds of times.
When I was nineteen years old I lost all of my family and all of my friends in one single day. I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and my entire social world centered around this organization. Because I broke one of their rules I got tossed from the congregation while all of my social network was still inside. I was left with no contact whatsoever. I was alone, with no one. This type of traumatic experience can leave a scar. I know that it has for me.
I guess my question would be; "Do you think that it's possible to be so afraid of people leaving you that you never feel comfortable around them?' This is exactly the position that I find myself in. I mean I feel like I'm always in a catch 22, or double-bind. On the one hand: I love people, am very social and conversational. However, on the other hand: I am terrified of people, they make me nervous.
Honestly, I never knew how strong these feelings were until recently. See, in the past I've ran from one mega church to the next. I've happily slipped into large auditoriums and slipped out undetected. This was safe and I enjoyed the noncommittal feelings. The Pastor's were doing their own things and were much to busy to notice me, which suited me just fine. I could smile on the surface and cordially carry on small talk and kaboom that was it. Of course I didn't have to speak with anyone if I didn't want too. Ah,,, those were the good ole days.....
Around 2 months ago my family and I started attending a different church. This church is very small and very intimate. Everyone knows precisely when I come in and everyone knows when I leave. The Pastor is never doing his own thing and he never allows himself to become too busy to talk with his congregation. In fact, if a person doesn't find find him, he will find them.
This church is a supportive, nurturing, environment. Sounds like I would be perfectly at ease, doesn't it? But I'm mot. I'm terrified. Each week I have to fight down waves of panic before I even enter the building. It never fails that every time I approach these warm loving people, I have this intense feeling that they can't stand me, and they can't wait for me to leave so that they can talk about me. And if I see the caring Pastor approaching, I start to feel nauseous and my heart starts beating so fast that I'm afraid that it might come out of my chest. So, I immediately start asking him questions before he can ask me anything. Why do I have these reactions? At the moment I'm not sure, but I think that I can take an educated guess.
I'm afraid of not being socially accepted. Maybe, I'm still scarred from all of my friends and family abandoning me. Maybe, deep down inside, I'm afraid that if I make a mistake people will leave me. I'm not entirely sure if figuring out what triggers these feelings is important; all I know is that it's one of the most unpleasant feeling that I've ever experienced. So far, I've been successful at being social despite these feelings, but.... I literally don't know how to complete this sentence.
I believe that the secrets that we hold in the dark only serve to keep us sicker. If the devil can make us ashamed of them and afraid of telling other's what they are, then he has us right where he wants us. He does not want us to be free; instead, he wants us immobile and frozen in fear. So... I've made the decision to share my experiences so that I can stop carrying the burdens along and so that others who carry the same burden will realize that they are not by themselves.
"God has not given me a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7. I'm still working on this promise, right now it's easier for me to read it, than to actually experience it.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Do You Call Your "Earthly" Father by His First Name?
All growing up I did not know God by any other name besides Jehovah. If I made an innocent mistake and called Him; God, I would get a sharp rebuke from my mother, or by any other adult Jehovah Witness who just happened to be within ear shot.
I cannot tell you the times that I was reminded that God's name was Jehovah and that if I wanted Him to listen and receive my prayers than I'd better call Him by His personal name. For the typical witness using the name Jehovah is never an option, it's always a rule.
After I finally left the organization in 2003, I detested that name. I literally could not say it without a vile taste coming up into my throat. To be honest I never took the time to analyze why I felt this way, I merely assumed that I was repulsed by the name. How wrong I was.
One of the first things that I needed to establish is if the name "Jehovah" had any merit. In the Old Testament (OT) that was originally written in Hebrew the name "Yahweh" was repeatedly used. History reveals that ancient Hebrews changed the pronunciation of the word "Yahweh" to Jehovah. Which has been translated into the English word "LORD." In the original transcripts of scripture "Yahweh" appears over 6,000 times in the OT. In fact, research proves that "Yahweh" is the most frequently used name that God used to describe Himself in the OT. According to the founder and director of Single Life Ministry's Dick Purnell, "God deliberately calls Himself "Jehovah" throughout the OT to constantly remind us that He along processes the ultimate sovereignty; that is the right to rule over creation."
After taking this evidence into consideration, I concluded that the name "Jehovah" did have merit.
Next, I needed to dig deep and try and find out why I was so offended and agitated whenever I read or heard that name being used. What I found interesting about my logic was when I heard the name "Satan" being used I did not become offended or agitated. It's strange, but even the name of God's arch enemy didn't bother me, but one of the names used to identify the God of the OT did?
I have a theory that it was never the name "Jehovah" that offended me. Instead, it was the organization that promoted that name that ticked me off. The witness organization perverted that name, by verbally abusing me with it. By not allowing me the freedom of referring to God in a way that made me feel comfortable they took something that was made good and turned it into something bad. I mean think about it, if a man uses his belt to hold up his pants the belt has a good purpose. However, if he uses that same belt to beat his wife and kids, that belt then becomes a weapon instead of a piece of clothing.
So..... do I still find the name "Jehovah" offensive? No way. See, I've learned that "Jehovah" is my Father! He isn't just this authoritarian figure who is keeping close tabs on me, and when I fail to measure up, He's then gonna spatter my guts all over the place at the battle of Armageddon. Sadly, as a witness this is all that I had been taught about Jehovah and I can assure you that this is a very narrow view of God the Father.
However, I'd be lying if I said that it was easy for me to use the name Jehovah, because it was not. I can tell you that less than two years ago I still would not use the name. Thankfully I received a revelation that changed my life. "But when the right time came, God sent His Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent Him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His very own children. And because we are His children, God sent the Spirit of His son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, "Abba, Father." Now, you are no longer a slave but God's own child. Galatians 4: 4-7. God sent Jesus to buy freedom for me!!!!! I am His daughter, and because He has adopted me, I not only have the right to call Him Father, I have the right to call Him; Papa!!! And I do call Him that! I've called Him Papa for almost two years now. As soon as I got the understanding that I had the right to call God; Father, Daddy, Abba, or Papa the name "Jehovah" stopped being offensive!
Let me just leave everyone with this thought: How many father's do you know who allow or even want their children calling them by their first names? Finally, what did Jesus call God while He was on earth? What did He instruct "others" to call God when they prayed to Him in the Lord's Prayer? Think about it.
I cannot tell you the times that I was reminded that God's name was Jehovah and that if I wanted Him to listen and receive my prayers than I'd better call Him by His personal name. For the typical witness using the name Jehovah is never an option, it's always a rule.
After I finally left the organization in 2003, I detested that name. I literally could not say it without a vile taste coming up into my throat. To be honest I never took the time to analyze why I felt this way, I merely assumed that I was repulsed by the name. How wrong I was.
One of the first things that I needed to establish is if the name "Jehovah" had any merit. In the Old Testament (OT) that was originally written in Hebrew the name "Yahweh" was repeatedly used. History reveals that ancient Hebrews changed the pronunciation of the word "Yahweh" to Jehovah. Which has been translated into the English word "LORD." In the original transcripts of scripture "Yahweh" appears over 6,000 times in the OT. In fact, research proves that "Yahweh" is the most frequently used name that God used to describe Himself in the OT. According to the founder and director of Single Life Ministry's Dick Purnell, "God deliberately calls Himself "Jehovah" throughout the OT to constantly remind us that He along processes the ultimate sovereignty; that is the right to rule over creation."
After taking this evidence into consideration, I concluded that the name "Jehovah" did have merit.
Next, I needed to dig deep and try and find out why I was so offended and agitated whenever I read or heard that name being used. What I found interesting about my logic was when I heard the name "Satan" being used I did not become offended or agitated. It's strange, but even the name of God's arch enemy didn't bother me, but one of the names used to identify the God of the OT did?
I have a theory that it was never the name "Jehovah" that offended me. Instead, it was the organization that promoted that name that ticked me off. The witness organization perverted that name, by verbally abusing me with it. By not allowing me the freedom of referring to God in a way that made me feel comfortable they took something that was made good and turned it into something bad. I mean think about it, if a man uses his belt to hold up his pants the belt has a good purpose. However, if he uses that same belt to beat his wife and kids, that belt then becomes a weapon instead of a piece of clothing.
So..... do I still find the name "Jehovah" offensive? No way. See, I've learned that "Jehovah" is my Father! He isn't just this authoritarian figure who is keeping close tabs on me, and when I fail to measure up, He's then gonna spatter my guts all over the place at the battle of Armageddon. Sadly, as a witness this is all that I had been taught about Jehovah and I can assure you that this is a very narrow view of God the Father.
However, I'd be lying if I said that it was easy for me to use the name Jehovah, because it was not. I can tell you that less than two years ago I still would not use the name. Thankfully I received a revelation that changed my life. "But when the right time came, God sent His Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent Him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His very own children. And because we are His children, God sent the Spirit of His son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, "Abba, Father." Now, you are no longer a slave but God's own child. Galatians 4: 4-7. God sent Jesus to buy freedom for me!!!!! I am His daughter, and because He has adopted me, I not only have the right to call Him Father, I have the right to call Him; Papa!!! And I do call Him that! I've called Him Papa for almost two years now. As soon as I got the understanding that I had the right to call God; Father, Daddy, Abba, or Papa the name "Jehovah" stopped being offensive!
Let me just leave everyone with this thought: How many father's do you know who allow or even want their children calling them by their first names? Finally, what did Jesus call God while He was on earth? What did He instruct "others" to call God when they prayed to Him in the Lord's Prayer? Think about it.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Give Me a Hug; Get Away From Me
While some of us were fortunate enough to grow up with functional Jehovah's Witness parents, many of us were not. Unfortunately, I 'm one of them. My father had a depression problem and my Mother dealt with her anger issues by welding out discipline with a heavy hand.
I never knew what to expect from either one of my parents. For example; my father would be happy and talkative on Monday. He would want to spend time with me, he would want kisses and hugs, he would just want me near him. Then by Tuesday, he would become sullen, with - drawn and get agitated if I tried to even get close to him.
It constantly felt like I was in a continuous game of "heads or tails," I never knew which side of the coin that I would see. Because my life was so uncertain, I grew up in a constant state of panic. I walked on egg shells all of the time. Believe me that's not a good environment for anyone, but especially not for a child.
As early as I can remember when my father would walk into a room, I would flee to the safety of my bedroom. However, if my mom and sister were in the room when he walked in, I'd stay, but get as far away from him as I could manage. My one bit of contact with him was the mandatory hug and kiss before bed. Then even that changed when I was 10. One night right before bed, I debated on whether or not to kiss dad because I knew that he was in one of his moods, but my mom insisted. So, I tentatively approached him to give him a hug and kiss and he literally shoved me away. Initially, I cried. I felt unloved, hurt and rejected. However, after the shock of being pushed away wore off, I just got angry. First, I got upset with my father and then at myself. In the beginning I wondered what was wrong with him but then I wondered what was wrong with me. I reasoned that he didn't love me. That day I made a conscience decision to mentally and emotionally separate myself from my parents.
I wish that I could say that I had been able to resolve this issue with my father before his death is 1992, but I didn't. I wish that I could tell you that my mom and I have a loving relationship but we don't.
What really makes me sad about this whole situation is that my parents got involved in an organization that could not help them overcome a rocky past. We were taught to go to the elders with our problems, but the elders had family problems of their own. The truth is; even if a person did go to the elders, they would not step in and help because they were not equipped to do so.
I remember once being at a meeting and an elder gave a talk on self-control and he specifically talked about how fathers were to be gentle and sit an example for their families. Now what was ironic about this statement is that my father had just came home the day before and thrown a coffee cup against the wall, shattering it into a million pierces, then he picked up my mom's defenseless houseplant and slammed it down on the carpet for apparently no reason. So... I supposed that Jehovah was giving me a nudge to talk with the elder about my father's behavior, I mean I reasoned that my father was not doing what was pleasing to Jehovah. To make a long story short; the elder rebuked me for being disobedient to my father, and strongly advised me to allow my mother to handle our family problems in the future.
As you've probably already guessed growing up witness is difficult enough, but growing up witness with dysfunctional parents is down right unbearable.
Because of the way that I grew up and the sickly relationship between me and my parents it has taken me many years to work through my fear of God. In the beginning I simply could not grasp the ideal that I had a Heavenly Father who loved me. Not having an earthly father or mother to compare Him with, I had a difficult time even getting my thoughts around the concept. I still struggle with this undeniable truth. "And because we are His children, God has sent the spirit of His Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out , "Abba, Father." Galatians 4: 6. Interestingly, I've never had a problem calling God, Papa. My difficulty arises when I need a soft place to fall, or I need His help with something.
I'm certain that many ex Jehovah's Witnesses have dealt with or are dealing with this problem. Something that has really helped me is realizing that I can't trust my emotions.My emotions are sometimes wounded and they change, however God doesn't. "He is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8. God loves me; how do I know? Because the Bible tells me so!
I never knew what to expect from either one of my parents. For example; my father would be happy and talkative on Monday. He would want to spend time with me, he would want kisses and hugs, he would just want me near him. Then by Tuesday, he would become sullen, with - drawn and get agitated if I tried to even get close to him.
It constantly felt like I was in a continuous game of "heads or tails," I never knew which side of the coin that I would see. Because my life was so uncertain, I grew up in a constant state of panic. I walked on egg shells all of the time. Believe me that's not a good environment for anyone, but especially not for a child.
As early as I can remember when my father would walk into a room, I would flee to the safety of my bedroom. However, if my mom and sister were in the room when he walked in, I'd stay, but get as far away from him as I could manage. My one bit of contact with him was the mandatory hug and kiss before bed. Then even that changed when I was 10. One night right before bed, I debated on whether or not to kiss dad because I knew that he was in one of his moods, but my mom insisted. So, I tentatively approached him to give him a hug and kiss and he literally shoved me away. Initially, I cried. I felt unloved, hurt and rejected. However, after the shock of being pushed away wore off, I just got angry. First, I got upset with my father and then at myself. In the beginning I wondered what was wrong with him but then I wondered what was wrong with me. I reasoned that he didn't love me. That day I made a conscience decision to mentally and emotionally separate myself from my parents.
I wish that I could say that I had been able to resolve this issue with my father before his death is 1992, but I didn't. I wish that I could tell you that my mom and I have a loving relationship but we don't.
What really makes me sad about this whole situation is that my parents got involved in an organization that could not help them overcome a rocky past. We were taught to go to the elders with our problems, but the elders had family problems of their own. The truth is; even if a person did go to the elders, they would not step in and help because they were not equipped to do so.
I remember once being at a meeting and an elder gave a talk on self-control and he specifically talked about how fathers were to be gentle and sit an example for their families. Now what was ironic about this statement is that my father had just came home the day before and thrown a coffee cup against the wall, shattering it into a million pierces, then he picked up my mom's defenseless houseplant and slammed it down on the carpet for apparently no reason. So... I supposed that Jehovah was giving me a nudge to talk with the elder about my father's behavior, I mean I reasoned that my father was not doing what was pleasing to Jehovah. To make a long story short; the elder rebuked me for being disobedient to my father, and strongly advised me to allow my mother to handle our family problems in the future.
As you've probably already guessed growing up witness is difficult enough, but growing up witness with dysfunctional parents is down right unbearable.
Because of the way that I grew up and the sickly relationship between me and my parents it has taken me many years to work through my fear of God. In the beginning I simply could not grasp the ideal that I had a Heavenly Father who loved me. Not having an earthly father or mother to compare Him with, I had a difficult time even getting my thoughts around the concept. I still struggle with this undeniable truth. "And because we are His children, God has sent the spirit of His Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out , "Abba, Father." Galatians 4: 6. Interestingly, I've never had a problem calling God, Papa. My difficulty arises when I need a soft place to fall, or I need His help with something.
I'm certain that many ex Jehovah's Witnesses have dealt with or are dealing with this problem. Something that has really helped me is realizing that I can't trust my emotions.My emotions are sometimes wounded and they change, however God doesn't. "He is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8. God loves me; how do I know? Because the Bible tells me so!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Paradise Without Jesus
John Piper said, "The critical question for our generation and for every generation is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ was not there?"
I was taught as one of Jehovah's Witnesses that because I was not one of the elite 144,000 I would never see Jesus face to face. To be honest as a zealous witness I didn't question how I felt about never seeing him, I simply embraced what the Watchtower taught me. I dutifully accepted my reward of being part of the "great crowd" who were to live forever on earth. I would be granted a perfect body, perfect health, perfect living conditions. Everything would be perfect. Except, there would be no Jesus. I was taught that He would rule over me "invisibly," but I would never be granted the privilege of physically approaching Him, or speaking with Him.
Now, the very thought of living forever in paradise on earth without Jesus is no longer appealing. I want for myself the same reward that He promised His apostles. "There is more than enough room in my father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am." John 14:2,3. His disciple's had grown accustomed to being with Jesus, and that's why their hearts were troubled that He was about to leave them. See John 14:1.
My step father (who is a one of Jehovah's Witnesses) recently asked me the question,"Kim, do you want to go to heaven?" My answer to him and anyone who wants to know is, Yes. I can honestly say that when the time comes I will gladly trade in this earthy body for my new heavenly one so that I can be with the Lord always. See 1 Corinthians 15:35-58.
I'd like to challenge anyone who might read this blog to ask yourself; If you truly are in a relationship with someone and you love them; would you eagerly be willing to spend an eternity without them in your presence? Would you gladly accept the meager invitation of never touching, seeing, or hearing them speak?
When we really think about this, the prospect of living forever without Father or Son actually walking next to us is not appealing. Think about it.
"
I was taught as one of Jehovah's Witnesses that because I was not one of the elite 144,000 I would never see Jesus face to face. To be honest as a zealous witness I didn't question how I felt about never seeing him, I simply embraced what the Watchtower taught me. I dutifully accepted my reward of being part of the "great crowd" who were to live forever on earth. I would be granted a perfect body, perfect health, perfect living conditions. Everything would be perfect. Except, there would be no Jesus. I was taught that He would rule over me "invisibly," but I would never be granted the privilege of physically approaching Him, or speaking with Him.
Now, the very thought of living forever in paradise on earth without Jesus is no longer appealing. I want for myself the same reward that He promised His apostles. "There is more than enough room in my father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am." John 14:2,3. His disciple's had grown accustomed to being with Jesus, and that's why their hearts were troubled that He was about to leave them. See John 14:1.
My step father (who is a one of Jehovah's Witnesses) recently asked me the question,"Kim, do you want to go to heaven?" My answer to him and anyone who wants to know is, Yes. I can honestly say that when the time comes I will gladly trade in this earthy body for my new heavenly one so that I can be with the Lord always. See 1 Corinthians 15:35-58.
I'd like to challenge anyone who might read this blog to ask yourself; If you truly are in a relationship with someone and you love them; would you eagerly be willing to spend an eternity without them in your presence? Would you gladly accept the meager invitation of never touching, seeing, or hearing them speak?
When we really think about this, the prospect of living forever without Father or Son actually walking next to us is not appealing. Think about it.
"
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)