Why I am Atheist no Longer.

       The first 21 years of my life were spent with a book bag on my shoulder and the latest copies of the Watchtower and Awake magazines in my hands.  Believe me, my childhood was far from easy or normal.  While children my own age were watching the "Smurfs" on Saturday morning's I was out knocking on doors and getting chased by strange dogs.  Sadly, when I wasn't knocking on doors, I was either going to meetings or preparing to go to meetings.

     I never really took the time to consider that my life wasn't normal because this is what my family did.  That's not to say that there  weren't plenty of times when I didn't complain about going to  the meetings or  having to participate in  field service, but with every complaint that I made my mom would rebuke me with, "Kim, you are not a true friend of Jehovah."  Eventually, I learned to keep my mouth shut and just do it.  

     For 21 years I was forced to serve a God who I had no relationship with and didn't even love. It is my opinion that   forced love isn't love at all, it's control.

     After escaping the organization I wanted absolutely nothing to do with religion or God.  I denied the Bible,  Father and Son at every given opportunity.  In college I took delight in composing essays on how God and the Bible were phony.  If there was a Christian around, I would start a debate with them.  I went out of my way trying to make other's feel insecure about their beliefs,  because deep down inside I was insecure about  my own.  Even though out of my mouth, I was professing, "There is no God,"  intellectually, I realized that I couldn't prove that God the Father, Christ the Son,  and the Holy Spirit did not exist.  Nor could I prove that the Bible was not written by men who were inspired by God.

     One of the major reasons that I am no longer Atheist is because I met the Son.  I love the Son.  He is my friend and I know that He lives.  How do I know that Jesus  has the best deal to offer?  Because,  He has changed my life.   Through studying His example in the Bible; Jesus has taught me about mercy, compassion and love.  I think that it is impossible for anyone to apply the principles in the scriptures and not have a better life, or be a kinder person.

      My atheist years were spent being frustrated because I wanted answers to everything.  If I couldn't argue God intellectually then He didn't exist.  How wrong I was.  Humans can not answer everything.  If anyone disputes that, then answer this, "Who laid the foundations of the earth?  Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveys line?  What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone?"  Job 38: 4-6.  The truth is; human can not even answer simple questions about creation.  If we can not answer questions about His creation, then how could we ever  understand everything about the creator.  "So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world's brilliant debaters?  God has made the wisdom of this world look foolish.  Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know Him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching  to save those who believe.  It is foolish to the Jew's; who ask for signs from heaven.  And it is foolish to the Greeks, who seek human wisdom.  So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it's all non-sense."  1 Corinthians 1: 20-23.

       I must say that when I was an atheist I would defend my belief's, but I would not defend them to the point of discomfort or death, but Jesus I would.  Not only does He offer a better life for me right now, He offers a indisputable future.  No one offers anything better than that, and that's why I'm atheist no longer.