"But I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead" Philippians 3:13.
Ever wonder why the rear view mirror in your car is so small? Could it be because focusing on where your going is more important then looking back on where you've been? I mean can you imagine what kind of calamity would happen if you tried to drive your automobile using only your rear view mirror? Trust me, with even the best case scenario, nothing good would come of it. And if you persisted in driving in this crazy fashion, I can almost guarantee you that if a judge didn't take away your licence or order you in lock down, you'd at the minimum be riding a bus,taking a bicycle, or simply walking.
This is exactly how living in the past is. I mean think about it; we've already been there and we can not go back, so the only rational thing to do is to keep moving forward, but instead we keep looking back and we run the risk of crashing into a large obstacle. I've been very guilty of this for the majority of my life.
Truthfully, being disfellowshipped as one of Jehovah's Witnesses and losing all of my family and friends left a big scar. I'm not denying the pain, but I almost allowed that one experience to ruin any other relationships that I may have came into contact with. Trust was a big issue for me. I reasoned that if I couldn't even trust my parents or friends whom I had known my entire life, then I simply couldn't trust anybody, not even Jesus. Oh, how wrong I was.
I believe that always focusing on your past obscures your view of the future. For example; whenever I met new people especially Christians; my invisible wall automatically went up. I concluded that if I made a mistake they would reject me, so I stood ready to reject them first. And Pastors didn't stand a chance as far as I was concerned. I reasoned that they would be as nice as could be until I broke a rule or stepped out of line and then I was convinced that I'd see their horns come out. So.... I never trusted them. Of course I was judging them harshly because of my past experiences with Jehovah's Witness elders.
And Jesus...... well He caught all of my pain and frustration....... I was upset because He had allowed me to go through these painful episodes and had done nothing to protect or save me from them. I supposed that because He hadn't intervened - He simply didn't care.
It had never dawned on me that everything that I went through was all a part of His divine plan for my life. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." Romans 8:28.
Absolutely nothing that has ever happened to me has not been allowed by Jesus. Because He processes all power and control He could have easily shielded me from the pain of my past, but he chose not to done so. Do I understand why He allowed me to endure the things that I did? No. But I do believe that all of my experiences good and bad have made me into the person that I am today. I know that Jesus loves me and that I'm His, and if Jesus wants my mess to become my message; then so be it.
My message is simply this:
- Irregardless, of what's happened to me, I still love Jesus. In fact, I've had more of an opportunity then most folks to cling to Him because of not having parents.
- I still love people.
- But most importantly; my past did not make me a victim, instead it created a survivor!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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